I'm not really the 'planning ahead' type when I travel. I'd rather be spontaneous and just see where the trip takes me, whether I'm getting dumped off in a foreign country or driving across my own. But the downside to spontaneity is that during the peak travel season, the hotels and motels fill up pretty quickly, and since I like to drive until I can't keep my eyes open anymore, getting a room can be a real problem. The first night of this trip I ended up spending $150 on a suite with a huge jacuzzi because all the cheap motels were full. The bed was uncomfortable, and bear in mind that my bed at home is a homemade wooden shelf with an old futon mattress and a bunch of dogs on it. Night two I stayed at a Super 8 with a really nice, soft bed, spent around $80, and slept for around 14 hours. I guess I needed it. Night three was a Best Western in Bismarck, North Dakota, where I was given a key for a room that already had someone in it. I opened the door and saw the TV on and the person's feet sticking off the end of the bed. I stood there for a few seconds debating whether or not to say anything, because s/he hadn't heard the door open. I opted not to roll the dice, and I got the hell out of there, but I think the person heard the door shut and came out into the hallway. I didn't look back. The guy at the desk gave me a free breakfast coupon that I didn't use, because I don't care that much for eggs. Once in a room that wasn't previously occupied, after opening the door slowly and calling out, "Anyone in here?" I slept pretty well, or at least well enough that I didn't get out of there until lunchtime. And then there was last night...
My GPS lied to me yesterday and told me I'd be in Chicago by 10PM. What the irritating little lady neglected to mention was that while she could tell me where I was in the US at any given time and how to get wherever I wanted to go, suggest restaurants to me, find gas stations and hospitals for me, she couldn't manage to tell me what time it was in the place where I was actually located at any given time or what time it would be at my destination when I arrived. So the arrival time I was looking at was in Pacific time, which, guess what -- is not really of any use to me when I'm trying to get to Chicago and have some pizza before I go to bed. I kept thinking, I don't remember Madison being ten minutes from Chicago...' and it's not. It's about 150 miles -- 2 hours with no traffic. But not realizing that my GPS was so good at some things and so bad at others, I called the Super 8 booking line and asked for a room in the Chicago area along the I-94 corridor. The woman on the other end asked me which location I wanted to stay at, and I said, "You're the one with the map." Seriously, if I wanted to look through the Super 8 book I wouldn't be calling. So she suggested three places and asked me which one I wanted to book, and I asked for prices, because again, she's the one with all the information, and that's why I called. Downtown was $120, but the one by O'Hare was around $60, so I booked it. When I got to Madison I called and canceled, and not wanting to have a similar telephone experience, I got out the Super 8 book and looked for Madison locations. The one I chose had the "Pride of Super 8" designation, and free HBO and Wi-Fi, so I called and asked if I needed a reservation. I was told I didn't, so I headed over, passing two other Super 8s on the way.
When I got there, I saw a guy with a weird gut, pointy man boobs, and fanny pack rushing across the parking lot to get into the lobby ahead of me, so I made sure that didn't happen. As I made my reservation, he got inpatient and started asking about the rooms -- he wanted a double room, but he didn't want to pay for a double room, so he was trying to finagle a single room with a fold-out couch. I'm serious -- he asked for a fold-out couch, and when the girl told him there wasn't one, he got really upset, like fold-out couches were standard in other motels. I've stayed in hundreds of hotels and motels, and I can't say I've ever seen a fold-out couch in any of them, but this guy had an idea and he wasn't letting go of it. As I left, he was trying to explain that he and his son weren't accustomed to sleeping in the same bed. Then get accustomed to paying an extra $20, jackass.
In the middle of the night I was awoken by a woman ranting in the hallway about something to do with disrespect and 'what she's been through', and I considered yelling at her to shut up, but then she was quiet and I fell back asleep. I was awoken again by the same woman, and considered going to the door and telling her to shut up face to face, but I quickly drifted off again. The third time she woke me up I decided to go into the hall and punch her in the face, but I was too tired and fell asleep again before I was able to fully measure the pros and cons of such an action. So what will tonight bring? I shudder to imagine it, but at least I'm not sleeping in my truck at a rest stop where I can't put the windows down because of the insects swarming outside. I'll leave you with a picture I took with my phone in the hallway of the place I stayed last night:
It was that kind of place.
